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Thank you, in advance for reading "my story". I know that it's a common one, but still it feels totally personal. I was married at one time to someone that I considered the one true love of my life. She was attractive, intelligent, very attentive and totally unfaithful. I stayed with her for nearly 18 years before we divorced. this was the first of 3 more heart breaks that I would be experiencing. Obviously, it took me several years to heal from this relationship, but time did heal. I met and created "life" with 3 other persons since that divorce, each resulting in a break up for various reasons which I only claim to be slightly responsible for one of them. I've never re-married after the first marriage. I've tried very hard to become a dedicated, honest, loving and attentive partner for each of those that I promised my heart to, but still came out with nothing except my feeling quite lost and alone. My last relationship was with someone who I'd have wagered the "bank" on. This person was what I determined to be "the one" in every way. We were together for over 2 years and left because of reasons that I still don't fully understand. It seems to me that few persons understand what true and abiding committment is, these days. Things are wonderful and then time goes by and, somehow, things either get boring or life pulls them away (the feeling of a change of life's direction is needed)and they just seem to be able to let go, put you away and eventually find another "love of their life" to be with. I just DON'T get it! Am I the only person that was raised by parents who were totally dedicated to each other? Parents who taught the meaning of honesty and that promises made are promised kept? I can't begin to imagine my mom suddenly telling my dad that she just needs something different in life and leaving. There's something wrong with our culture when people do this to one another. I understand how it happens when dating, getting to know someone and such... but why don't people understand that when they "commit" to a relationship, it's supposed to be for the "long haul". That we should be beyond the "test drive" when making promises and commitments. So, my heart remains broken, again. It's been a year since my last break up and still I sit here with a heart that just doesn't seem to heal, this time. I find bitterness creeping in and also find less and less to smile about lately. So, I'm glad I found this site. Maybe I can deposit some frustration here and it will begin to dissipate.

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