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so it was a while since my last psycho ex bf...i had quit doing drugs, quit smoking, etc..and i had gained weight...more than i had wanted and i started dieting...SO theres this guy that we used to know from when i was younger....i hadn't heard from him in a few years and now i was 17 going to be 18 that June...so we started talking...and BTW he was 23 turning 24 that august. so there was a gap..So we were talking on Yahoo messenger since he moved to Oakhurst awhile ago...Everything took off...and I thought things were okay..i knew he was an ex prisoner but his story was believable about how he was in trouble for having drugs on him in the past and how it had to be a set up etc..GULLIBLE yes i was...so he was now on Parole..for 3 years...and so he wasn't supposed to leave Oakhurst without a PASS..so he was supposed to get one..and he said he did so he started coming down here and seeing me picking me up from school etc..so in the beginning we had planned NOT to have any sexual activities till i turned 18...but that changed when we got together all the time..things just sort of happened...so after 3 months of us being together...we were coming home from the store and he HIT a dog in the street...in a Residential neighborhood..i wanted him to stop and I LOVE ANIMALS..but he wouldn't let me go back for some reason i cried my eyes out...i felt so horrible..i had nightmares etc..but it was a Cocker spaniel puppy...:***( but anyhow..we get home and he fliups up his license plate..we all thought that was wierd..and i asked him to report it ...because your supposed to report an incident like that...he wouldn't..so things happened one day he called my grandma BITCH i guess..i wasn't there..so i didn't believe her for some reason..I knew he had a drinking problem at the time but i was kind of looking the other way...(STUPID) so he'd call me at like 2 or later in the morning drunk sometimes and said he just wanted to hear my Voice etc..it got old after while..and i could tell he would get kind of suspicious over my friends or what i said i was doing etc..i didn't like that seeing i was already in a relationship like that before...so eventually things got worse..i Found out by his parole officer he wasn't supposed to be in Fresno visiting anyone..especially a WOMAN...even if it was a friend..he never had a pass to come here and its a violation of his parole...my mom didn't want me seeing him and i thought it was just because she didn't want me to move out etc..I was WRONG..(People Listen to your parents...they aren't trying to keep you from being happy) I know that NOW..so i didn't listen to what they were saying..well i found out that he in the past had been in the system his whole life since he was 14..that wasn't about to change..NOT FOR ME anyways...so in the past i guess things happened with an ex gf who ended in restraining order as well...and he got a 14 years old girl prego. when he was 19..there were other things as well..like he held his grandmother hostage and unplugged the phone when she was calling 911..thats HORRIBLE..i know...so i should have seen this coming since I've been in a BAD relationship before...i think a lot of it had to do with that fact i gained so much weight and MY ex was a HOTTIE..NO personality though...he would change from happy to mad in a second..or vice versa it was kinda creepy..well then i found out how much meds he was taking ...ANTI-Psychotics Lithium and Seraquil or something like that...creepy...i hadn't ever seen him without his meds. and NOW i didn't ever want to..so some things happened..and I ended up Slitting my Wrists..my moms a nurse so she had me (51/50-they take you to a hospital and check on you ask you questions to determine if you need help) to C-Care in Fresno, California where i live..but they all knew i wasn't crazy just being stupid..I won't ever do that over some dumb ass again for sure lmao... So he ended up going to prison AGAIN..thank god..i think he belongs there..thats where he feels like Home...1 year later he gets out..last October 19th..and he starts calling my cell phone..i tell him i don't have anything to say to him i don't want to talk to him etc..he keeps calling here and there....so finally i tell my mom..who write an e-mail to his parole officer..and then i guess he had already done some things in violation of his parole again and contacting me was the icing on the cake..so i had to testify in madera court for this and so hes in there till this October..i had my Phone number changed and My new MAN Jon the love of my life...were moving out so he won't know where i live..I'm going to be getting married eventually to him..were going to be engaged..so yea...My hearts NOT broken anymore..i have lifted my head freed my heart..threw away all my hurt...and started over...I say NOT to look in the ocean of men...don't go fishing for them..Let them come to you..so when they do YOU can reel them in...Thats what I did..and he is MINE..He loves me and treats me like i should be treated..and for the first time in my life i feel complete..where i belong..i'm happy content..secure and my family love him..they gave us our blessing..and said they would be honored to have him as a SON- In - Law..Broken Hearts can be mended ..it might take some time and maybe even therapy in some cases...don't dwell on lost causes..instead pick yourself up and start fresh..just because a few people have not been the ones for you doesn't mean you won't find them or them find you..don't rush things..take them slow because if you do..it will all fall into place...take your time..enjoy your life..have fun, take risks, go outdoors, be social, plant flowers, one day you will wish you had and by then it might be too late...My hearts been broken and it has finally healed...Be Patient...things GOOD take time..in the end they're worth every minute...

*Shannyne*

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