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The Story

Well It all started back in grade 9. Right Now Im In Grade 11 Going Into 12. I was a late registration to my school so I was technically the new kid in all of my classes, I had dark hair, dark eyes and dark clothes. I would say I was on the verge of punk rock and goth. But it was until my fourth period art class is when I felt at ease. See there was this boy named (We'll just call him E). He was tall, blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and funny. Normally at the beginning of a new semester you get to decide where you want to sit, but since I was a late registration I had to sit in the back of the room right beside E. When I first saw him I was attracted to him. I mean he was everything I wanted looks wise. So I would occassionally glance over at him trying not to be noticed, but I would always catch him looking at me. Now we would play looking tag everyday. And it was only half way through the semester when things started becoming more confusing. I mean, I knew he liked me. He knew I liked him. We would smile at each other and ask about each other. But then one day, in art class I was washing my paint brushes in the back sink. And I heard this guy who was notorious for being a creep whispering about me to him. (Now a major detail in this story is that I was a big girl back then. Not obese, but 40 pounds overweight) And someone had told him, that the reason I was so big, was because I wasn't even a girl at all(which is extremely hurtful if your a girl). So immediately he was shocked to of heard this about the girl he liked and in the moment blurted out asking me if I was a girl or a boy. So I started crying because the whole class was shocked and staring at me. I mean what could I have done? Then he started yelling at me telling me he had a right to know, and someone from my class had yelled back at him that I was a girl and he was stupid for asking. After that, the rumour started circulating around school and I was infamous for something that wasn't even true. But I coped, I had to. And I was furious with him. But as the weeks went by I think he knew that it wasn't true because he was starting to show more signs of affection. Things like following me around/going places he knew I would be. I thought things were going to start up like normal again, but they didn't. I guess I had myself fooled? Things seemed all too coincidental. Grade 10 rolled around and during that summer I had made major physical changes. I dyed my hair blonde, grew it out longer, got blue contacts and lost 20 pounds. And I remember the first day of second semester, everyone was walking around looking for their classes and there he was, standing at the end of the hall staring at me. And I was staring at him. But by now I figured he didn't like me anymore so I walked away and pretended that I was looking down the hall rather than at him. Through out grade 10 we were distant, but I still had feelings for him, although I became pro at hiding them. My reputation raised and I became a "popular girl" and "a bitch". I was still angry, and now I had a voice in the school. So I made it seem like I didn't notice him anymore. And eventually he stopped noticing me. This angered me, I knew guys wanted me, but why didn't he anymore? Things we started doing to each either made or broke our day. I started hanging around guys and he started hanging around more girls and getting into drugs. By now everything I was doing was to make him jelous and he was doing the same.My thoughts were always on him. Wondering if I would see him at the end of the day, anything. And the more angry I got, the more bitchy I got, and the more bitchy I got the more popular I became. And then I had a boyfriend. He was 19, built, blonde hair and green eyes. And of course E found out. Now after school when Josh(my boyfriend) would pick me up I would flaunt him. Because I was hateful, but still very much in love with him. And when popular, there are always rumours circling around about you. This time the rumours were that I was pregnant, or I was a big slut. Which pushed him even more away. He was also popular, and rumours were circulating around him being a druggy, and a "player". So we eventually grew apart. He stopped liking me, but I was too blind to realize. Then one day he had a basketball game, and of course I went with my friends. They had lost badly so he was in a horrible mood. He might of though that I was glad he lost and was upset with himself. So after school I went home and sent him an email telling him how I really felt. And he sended back a hateful letter, like I was a monster. I was, but at the time it didn't feel like it. So heart-broken and suicidal I had to deal with it. So I now started to get over him. I was still hurting. Because I liked him for who he was even before the drugs and the popularity and I knew he felt the same. Grade 11 rolled by and yet again I totally changed my appearance. Now I had red hair, and I lost another 40 pounds. My style was different to now. Now I was trendy/punkish/emo. My attitude had changed. I was no longer a full time bitch, and I started being nicer to people. My popularity went down and I didn't care. I had good friends who like me, were different. I had also broken up with Josh. And now was being crushed by and crushing on a foreign exhange student Paul. Tall, Brown Hair, Greenish-Bluish eyes from Germany. It was only in my friends grade 11 art class(I skipped english alot) I found out that many girls liked Emanuel. And our stories were all quiet similar. He had also started dating this short dumpy girl who is into sports like him. I kept my distance from him. I no longer liked him the same way. I still have a little bit of feelings for him. It's very odd. They say you never get over your first love. I just recently left my school. Because it turns out that first impressions don't last. Now I'm going to another school and I still think about him every once in a while, wondering what would of been. But then I pull myself together and realize that if it doesn't work out, then I wasn't meant to be.

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Story Comments

Re: First Love(Long)  January 27th, 2008
Re: First Love(Long)  December 22nd, 2008
Re: First Love(Long)  July 15th, 2009