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i am not an attractive woman. i was always told i was ugly even by family members so when i grew up i was convinced no one will ever like me and no boys ever approached me so i gained lots of weight but one day i decided to get healthy and started to work out so i lost lots of weight. when i was 31 i started to feel the maternal instinct so i decided to give dating websites a try. thats was my first broken heart experience. i was a 31 yr old virgin, so i met a guy who first started telling me he wanted a girlfriend and eventually a family but what eneded up happening is once i slept with him he stopped calling me. then, out of the blue another man came into my life. he started texting me by mistake but continued texting me because he thought i was funny one thing led to another and he wanted to meet so we did. we started a relationship or so i thought but 2 months into the relationship i found out he was posting ads on social sites saying he was "dating" and talking to other girls. i confronted him about it but he convinced me it was his brother doing that and not him. sad to say it was around my bday so that brought me down and wanted to believe in him so bad. for my second bday i found out he was flirting with other women on facebook. again he convinced me that he didnt see anything wrong with it because "it was through a computer" so it doesnt count. i wanted to believe him so again i did. for my next bday i found out he was posting ads for women to email him or text him rated r pictures of themselves and posting ads on craigslista about meeting women. i still dont know if i should break up with him as i feel i deserve it for being ugly. i ask myself if i should let him be himself as long as he doesnt leave me. he keeps telling me it doesnt count because he hasnt done nothing. i want to have someone to love and hopefully a family of my own. i need to sacrifice for happiness so im guessing if he doesnt love me but i love him it should be enough right? i feel if he leaves me i wont have a shot at being happy.

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