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I met a girl who needed a friend. I could see the need in her eyes. I decided to be that for her, just a friend. As it turned out we fell for eachother. She helped me to come out of my shell and I helped her get over some problems that she had, or so I thought. I'm older than her and never expected anything to come of our friendship. Neither of us were looking for this. She is a recovering drug user and I have never used, I don't even drink. I treated her like gold, gave her things and experiences that she had never known and would never have known. Those were her words. I helped her to stay clean and sober for over a year, the longest that she had been so in 14 years or more. I gave her a place to live when she lost her apartment. We spoke of marriage. Recently she started to bend under the pressure of old friends from her old life who wanted their party girl back. she told me that she had been offered a place to live but wanted to stay with me. Then I found out that she had been lying to me. She had a friend from her past looking for apartments for her back in the neighborhood where all of her drug troubles occurred. She said that she had been lying because she liked living in my house but we were over. I asked if the offer of a room with her friend was still open and she said it was so I told her to leave. As soon as she left my house she went out and got high. She moved in with her wonderful new friends from Church who had been counciling her to leave me. Those great people kicked her out in less than 2 weeks because she is getting high and drunk all of the time. I guess they weren't aware of the truth, of whom they had welcomed into their home. Now she has been homeless for a few weeks and is spending most nights getting high and hanging in bars, going home with whomever will have her. Its killing me because I feel guilty about kicking her out but I thought that she would come back when she realized what she had lost. She is truely beautiful and intelligent and much better than the way she is acting. She blames everyone for what she is doing and has become. Not just me but all of her friends who tried to help her to keep away from that life and even her family because they have told her that she should be with me. I'll be honest, I'm 20 years older than her (she's 28) and never expected her family, or mine to accept us together but to my surprise both families were very supportive. Her mother and grandmother are actively trying to get her to come down to earth and come back to me. They both say that I am still a part of their family and am welcome in their homes, they love me. I have not told any of my family or friends the truth of our break up or what she's been doing. I'm trying to protect her reputation. I still love her very much but am afraid that I won't want her back after the things that she's doing and has said about me. I really need someone to talk to who is completely outside of my situation and can be objective.

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