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The Story

This is the other half to my story "College Confusion". Most of what is in this story I did not learn until years later.
My ex and I had broken up, there was a man I had met through my college roommate. He liked me from the first moment he met me. At the time I was dating my ex so when we broke he waited a few weeks and made his move. I was scared out of my mind considering what I had just gone through but I really liked him and I wanted to see where our relationship would take us.
It was only a couple of days that we were together. My ex convinced me to go back to him when he had learned I had someone new. I was still very much in love with my ex even though I liked this new guy and I ended up following my heart. I chose my ex.
At the time I had absolutely no clue that he liked me as strongly as he did. He told me later that the day I broke things off with him he drank so much that night he blacked out which is something he's never done before or since. I was the shy girl from another state that had never been very popular and had only 1 boyfriend in high school which lasted a week. He was the local jock who was very popular and had quite a few girlfriends in high school. I thought I was just going to be another girlfriend to him and that there were plenty of girls that would love to have my place that he would like instead. I was wrong and I'm ashamed of how I thought of him back then.
After that we didn't really hang out much, it was a small school so we did run into each other all the time and had a quick conversation between classes. We'd talk on the phone a little bit too.
It wasn't until after college that we really started to get to know each other. We exchanged e-mails and then a while after that phone numbers and we texted a lot. In our senior year he met someone and I was so very happy for him.
As the years went on we talked a lot about what happened we've both wondered what if...
He's married now to that woman he met, we've gotten really really close that last few years before his marriage and we did talk about where we would be with each other if he wasn't with her. I kept fooling myself thinking he might leave her for me but he didn't. It's bittersweet I'm happy for him but sad for me. Where would we be now if I hadn't rejected him? would it be us married? Would we have a beautiful family together? Only God knows and it's pretty ironic and I think what I'm feeling now is just what I deserve after everything that's happened and what I did.

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