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Well, the guy is my best friend. Or was. Or is-- I really don't know. I'm actually 1000 miles away right now from him. And I've been away since June 20th.
The night before I left, I lost my virginity to him. I told his sister and just one of his friends I though I could trust. But no... I can't trust him.
Anyway, everyone found out. His mom all his friends. And today actually I was told that He telling people he fucked me.
What the hell?

Honesty, when I lost my virginity to him, I don't even know if we were dating. he said we were, but he didn't want anyone to know. Because his mom would think we're having sex. Well, newsflash bud! We lost our virginity!! And she found out! And she want to talk to me when I get back home!

I was doubting him around the beginning and mid of June. Because we almost had sex one day after school, just no condoms. And later that night, I got bored and I went on his facebook (I know, I'm horrible, right?)
And he was chatting with his bitch that I hate so much from a town 20 miles away.
He has her if she would date him again. She said she would, then he was talking about his dead dad, and that he was sick.

Later that week, I barely talked to him for 1, He was gone from school because he was sick. 2, I was really fucking pissed at him. I confronted him later that week, and he said it wasn't him, it was someone else.

What the FUCK?
How was it not him??
None, I mean NONE of his friends knew he was sick, and why would the fuck would they talk about his dad who has been dead for a year?!?

He lied. Obviously.
I don;t even know if he loved me...

And what's even worse is that his friend said he doesn't care about me or love me. He;s just playing and using me for his amusement.

He wasn't using me.
Why would he call me his best friend?
Why did he cry in front of me while talking about his dad?
Why the FUCK would keep me round for so many YEARS!?

I don't know.
So many lies and games...
It hurts, you know..?

But my problem is right now, is that we're barely talking on the phone or texting and I haven't talked to him a few days now. He told me he doesn't know if he loves me anymore. I told him a few nights ago that he didn't need me anymore. He said I was just speaking for myself. I told him that he's all I fucking got, and I'd rather be a fucking friend than a nobody, because, if I'm a nobody to him, I'd die. And I said we had too much of a past to not be friends.
He agreed...

The deal with him is, I've loved him since I was 12, and liked him with I was 10.
Sadly, I'm only 15 now, I know, I know, what you're thinking "you're not in love, you're too fuckin' young!"
Maybe so, but that doesn't mean that I'm not in love.

I've had 3 other serious boyfriends, I got over them. Why can't I get over this guy I'm talking about now, huh?

Even this one guy, I did so many sexual stuff with, I got over him, and he dumped me a week later.
I got over that.

This guy now... I dated him last March, of 2010 till August of 2010. It took me 7- months to get over him, then I dated the other dude who dumped me a week later after all that shit-- Me and Will, his name is Will, that I love now, We started dating seriously and everyone, EVERYONE knew we were. Then I did something... stupid and he broke up with me with good reason. I changed for him, and we started "dating" again. The secret dating...

So I think that's my story..

Please read, I need advice...



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