Story Rankings

Click here to become a member or
here to login to rate this story

The Story

Third time is a charm they say... 20 years, 8 years, 5 years. Something is wrong with this picture. It must be me.

Twenty years and three children, eight years and two children, 5 years and no children. Why is it that the last one hurts so much.

I'm not saying that there wasn't any pain with the first two. Yes, it is shocking to suddenly realize that you are sending your wife of twenty years to Law school and now she is with one of her classmates.

Or to wake up to discover your wife is not in bed with you. Your two small children are sleeping in their beds but down in the basement she is with a college student... those hurt. But, now I am in pain like the other two didn't happen. Does that make sense? Is that reasonable?

I married opposites in the first two. But, with the third, we were very similar... except for age. No, I didn't find her with anybody, thank God! No, she is not with someone now.

We enjoyed so much together. We traveled. But, I travel and work out of the U.S. for a living. She is from another country. I guess to bring her to the U.S., Live with her for a year, then go work in a war zone for the next three was not very smart. We talked every day. Usually twice a day for hours at a time. We took great trips and saw many things.

maybe the hard part about this one is that I know that it is my fault. I know I made the mistake by leaving.

Another factor is the fact that I know that this is it. I CAN'T do it again. Three strikes and I am out... OUT... OUT!!!

I am a 58 year old man, I'm in good shape, look at least 10 years younger... but I AM 58.

I always saw myself getting married and staying married. My parents are still married, Dad 90 & Mom 86, and I think that is wonderful. Why will I spend the rest of my days alone? I never entered mariage thinking it would end. I guess three times I have been a fool.

There are pluses. I have 5 wonderful children and 4 grandchildren. They all love me and I love them. But... I feel this hole in my life.

My older children tell me that I need to learn how to be happy being by my self. I need to enjoy this time in my life when I can travel and do what I want. But I don't. I like to travel and see places when I can do it with someone I am sharing my life with. Does that make any sense?

I remember that I was on the way back home one time and there was a snow storm on the east coast of the U.S. I was stuck in Paris for 4 days before I finally was able to fly back home. I didn't go anywhere. I just wanted to get home. I would have enjoyed going and seeing the sites if I had my wife with me, or even one of my children, or a freind, but I was alone in Paris and didn't want to go anywhere. You will probably tell me I am crazy and that I should have gone... I agree. But I didn't.

Well... enough of my first rant. This is kind of nice to just sit down and type... no spell checking... no re-reading.... I'm just typing and going to hit the save button "as is"!

Till next time...

Paul

Click here to become a member or
here to login to reply to this story

Story Comments