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So, here it is, Ive alwats wanted to tell this story over and over again. I cant find people to talk to about it since the people who know hate me or avoid talking about it.

I met this girl Joey during camp. I was trying to get her older sister to get to like me but was not successful. Saw her again at church and asked for her number and got know her better. As it turns outs, shes great, loves to cook, smart and very supportive. I fell in love with her.

Her parents never liked me because they know about my family situation. They also said that I was a bad influence on her and ruining her life. At one time her mom walked in while we were talking on the phone. She kept it on so I could hear her mom talking about me. It hurts so much for people to talk about you when they never gave you a chance. It affected my spiritualiy and my outlook on christians. We were together since she graduated from HS until she graduated from college. It sucks because I was judged simply of what I did not do. I just wanted them to give me a chance to show them that I really loved their daughter. We had to hide every time we met each other. Her parents hated me since I did not have a stable job and told that I had nothing to offer their daughter. Yes I did not finish college but I am a hardworking man. I know that I would always want to provide the best for her.

This situation lasted for 6 years and resulted in a lot of heartaches and I strayed for so many times. I found myself seeking other girls since they would not be ashamed to show me off rather than hide me as their boyfriend. I looked for girls who had parents that would approve of me. I know I hurt her a lot and she cried and got sick when she found out. I didn't want to continue doing this to her and left all the other girls. I guess she wanted her turn so she also had other boys on the side. I was devastated, angry but in the end, I sucked it all up and forgave her.

It happened again on her birthday, a guy kissed her in front of me and I talked to her about it but she shrugged it off saying that it was just a friendly kiss. Didnt want to make a scene since I know her friends already did not approve of me. I got drunk on that night too. She brought me back home and left. That guy turned out to be the guy she would replace me with. As it turns out, she was already seeing him behind my back.

Our relationship has long been over but I still think of her a lot. I know our relationship was never given a chance in this lifetime and the complications made it hard for us to have a normal healthy one. Of course I know that we could have done better without the seeing other people part.

Ive told her that am happy for her and I wish her the best. Thats all just @#$@$. Nothing has ever been the same. Even if I am a respectable professional now still without a college degree, I still think of her. The memories and heartache still haunt me to thie very day. I dont know how to tell the girls after her that a part of me is missing already and that my feelings for them are the only ones that are left by the girl I first loved.

Ive been a heartbreaker and heartbreakee. It will hurt you regardless of what part you play. I probably will take her back and drop everything if she says so. When age sets in and I already have children and grandchildren. She will always be my first love. I will never forget her.



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