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Urgh this is gonna sound really ridiculous.
But a few months ago I met this guy online who lived a few hours train journey away from me.

I think he was my twin flame.

One night I was just sitting on the computer about 12am, I was totally utterly bored out of my mind, so I logged onto a uk chatsite just to pass the time.
and I got a message from some guy asking me if I would like a slave, I get messages like that alot and replied No thankyou, but good luck with your search :).

He then thanked me for being polite instead of being rude as most people are when he asks. and it just turned into conversation, after a while we switched to msn, and realised we both had alot in common, such as liking the same music, the same style of clothes. ect ect.

From then we chatted all night everynight, even during the day sometimes.
It's like we were the same person we were that alike. I started to feel attracted to him, But I never told him incase I came across as creepy since I'd never met him in person and I didn't want to look weird lol. I don't normally become emotionally attached to people unless i've met them in person, He was exceptional.

We decided that I should go visit him when I next get paid, and spend the day together getting drunk.

He's told me things he admitted he would never tell anyone else, I shared in the same things he had told me about so it didn't seem weird to me at all and I was happy to find someone who was like me. I also told him things about myself I haven't even told my best friend.

When I would talk to him I would feel really good about myself. I genuinly enjoyed talking to him.
and was so looking forward to meeting him, not only because I enjoy his *company*, but also I might have been able to tell if he liked me back in that way. I would have told him I liked him also, if it looked to me as if he did like me back, But I didn't just want to come right out and say it for 2 reasons, I fear rejection, I know if he rejected me I wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore without feeling hurt.
And also, if he didn't like me back I wouldn't want him to feel guilty for hurting me, cos the last thing I'd want to do is make him feel awkward, and I valued our friendship so I didn't want to make anything awkward by saying.

I am a bit of a coward to be honest.

Anyway the last 2 weeks have been even better, he'd been flirting with me, and we even had voice conversations online and such.

But the last week, he didn't talk as much, I'd ask him if he was alright as he is prone to depression, and when ever I've been upset he's listened to me and talked through my problems with me to try to help and I would have done the same for him, but he insisted he was fine just tired as he had not slept very well the last few nights and appolagised for being so quiet.

then tuesday, he kept going into bouts of talking quite animatedly to going quiet. anyway at the end of it, he went to bed and we said our goodnights as we usually do.

But he hasn't been online for 2 days. Before this he would always let me know if he wasn't going to be online on such and such a day. But he just didn't say, he just hasn't come online.

So I am sitting thinking, Maybe he got bored of me, maybe he guessed I liked him but didn't like me back so didn't want to talk anymore thinking I wasn't being a good friend or something, Or maybe he got himself a gf and rather than tell me, blocked me instead.

Gah it hurts so much cos I honestly thought we were twin flames, I've never spoken to someone so much like me in my entire life. and I feel kind of betreyed, hurt and just confused,

Part of me is worried incase he was depressed and did something to himself, or if maybe he had some kind of accident. but that all seems maybe unlikely so I come back to the, he doesn't want to talk to me anymore so he's blocked me.

Gah It really fucking sucks!!! I wish I could find a nice guy who will like me back and not ditch me.

Oh and in case your wondering, I'm not some silly 15 year old school girl, I'm a 22 year old woman with a child, Who is normally very rational.

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