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The Story

It was exactly a year ago that it happened. After years of searching for the perfect man with a kind soul and big heart, I thought I found him. He found me.

I was having coffee at a cafe next to the cinemas alone and waiting for a movie to start and this man excused himself and asked if I'd mind him stiing on my table as the cafe was full. Ofcourse I said that I didn't mind. I looked at him and my heart stopped, my face got warm and I was completely and utterly attracted to him. What felt like a long-time, he finally spoke and asked me what time it was, so I told him. I asked him if he was waiting for someone and he said no. He asked me if I was, so I told him that I waiting for a movie to start and I had another half-an-hour to spare. He asked me if I was watching to movie alone and what movie will I be watching, and I said yes and told him I was going to watch Xmen3. He said, so am I.

We spoke for awhile and I found out that his name was Allan and we live very close to each other. He also asked if he can tag along with me at the movies as he felt funny sitting by himself at the movies. I said that that was fine and it would be change to have company whilst in the movies. I told him that I was new to the town and don't really have many friends here so I've growned accustomed to doing things by myself.

We chatted a while and finally it was time to go into the cinemas and watch the film. We walked in together and sat down at the back of the movies. The movie started and I settled into my seat and started watching it. Half-way through the movie, I saw his hand on the arm rest and I saw that he had a watch. I was perpelexed and had to ask him - why did you ask me the time as you have a watch? He smiled at me and told me that he had to make a reason to talk to me as he likes me. I told him I'm glad he did and I told him I liked him too. As the movie was near the end, I suddenly felt him reach for my hand. I let him and he looked at me and smiled.

The movie finished and we walked out. He walked to my car and he asked me if he can have my number. I gave it to him and we had an akward moment of silence. He looked at me again and just leaned in and kissed me.

We dated for a couple of weeks, we spoke on the phone at night, we saw each other on weekend and everything was going fine. After acouple of months we decided to take it to the next level and planned a weekend away. We had a great connectioin that weekend, we had the most romantic dinner and hardly left the hotel room. I was so close to falling in-love.

Then my life was turned up-side-down. I was called upon to help the family. My cousin was dying, he was taken to pallative care. I packed and was ready to go to my family. I called Allan and explained the situation.

My life was a whirlwind of feelings of loss, grief and utter resposibility that I barely had time to talk to Allan on the phone. My cousin died and after a couple months everything started to return to as normal as it can get. After it all, I started to notice that he would not answer my messages and even my calls. We would make plans and he won't turn up or would have the strangest excuses as to why he can't go. Work was very busy for him and its taking over his life. I understood that, but I finally realised that if you really want someone, you would make sure that you had time for them no matter what.

I set him aside for my family and he set me aside for work. Fair enough. So I broke it off. He said he felt the same way. We lost touch, but not a single day went by that I didn't think of him. I labeled him as 'the one that got away'.

Three months ago, I got a private message promtp on my messenger account and to my suprise it was Allan.
He asked how I was and we chatted for awhile and he called me that evening and said lets go for a drive. We did, the same connection was there, we chatted like old friends and kissed like old lovers. I was in cloud-nine again. This is my second-chance.

From that evening we were inseparable and we were back to where we were. I was falling in-love with him.

A week ago, I had work function. I was bored and wanted to go home and spend time with Allan. But I could'nt go as i was in charge of taking care of a client all night. It was an important contract and I had to bare it. My client was a great person, he was talkative and friendly. As the night wore on, my client and I were passed the formal business conversation and started chatting about our lives and our siginificant other. He was talking about his current boyfriend and how wonderfull he was. I was so happy for him and told him about my boyfriend. We chatted and was completly at ease with each other and found it hilarious that our boyfriends had very similar traits. My clients iphone suddenly rang and he said 'speak of the devil'. he took out his phone and then before answering it, he showed me the caller Id with the image of the caller - his boyfriend. To my dismay - It was Allan's full name and his picture on the caller ID.

To tell you the truth, I don't really remember how I excused myself from my client and how I got home. I was just numb with dissapointment, anger and grief. I was jealous, sad, emotional and felt so alone and betrayed.

At this time, things are still pretty raw and painful. I've had missed calls from Allan, but I have not answered them. At this time, I just want to be alone and re-assess the situation. I have to figure out a way to finish this relationship - if that's what it is. At this time, I still have to face that client in meetings with a fake smile and work through the project.

At this time, I still cry when I'm all alone.

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