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Well now, here we are again, same people as the last story, different ending! A month after I wrote about Lisa and I breaking up, she was dumped by the guy she hooked up with. She moved back in with her dad and she and I continued to talk. Within days, we had confessed our love for each other and had come to the realization that there really isn't anybody on this earth who can make us happier than each other. We re-united over the phone and within a month and a half she was back in my arms in Florida. However, she had a condition to coming back, I protested severely but gave in to her demand that she'd get to go back to Utah every couple of months and "see her family ". My protest was because the time frames for her going back were almost exactly the same as when she used to have to go see her doctor to get her prescriptions for Oxycontin filled! She swore up and down that she wasn't doing pills and wasn't seeing a doctor but I didn't believe her. Yet, despite my disbelief and feelings about the story she was telling, I wanted her back more than I cared whether she was being honest or not. You'll read later why I now call myself a fool who was blinded by love! About a month after she came back we moved into a new house and things started to look really good for us. We weren't arguing like before and we were actually laughing like we used to! I had started a lawn business while she was away but it wasn't bringing in much money. She got a job at a little store and we were doing okay. I even tracked down her friend Cindy and allowed Cindy to start coming over; what a dumb-ass I was for that one! I can't say for sure if Cindy was the reason, but it didn't take long before Lisa's attitude started to come back. We started arguing and she started accusing me of being unfair and quick t judge her and her friends. This was the same behavior she portrayed when she was addicted to Oxycontin's in the past. But this time I saw right through her lies and childish behavior. I didn't back down with telling my opinions and even went as far as letting Cindy know what I was thinking. They both kept trying to convince me that nothing was going on. Instead of getting irate and losing my cool, I decided to let everything play itself out. Before I knew it, it was November and Lisa absolutely just had to go back to Utah and see her dad. I was told either trust her or she wasn't coming back; should have just let her go completely, right then and there; but like a fool, I didn't. While she was gone for a week, I went up to Ohio to take care of a child support issue concerning my kids, from my ex wife. I arrived back in Florida a day before Lisa and then picked her up from the airport. The whole time we were apart, we talked over the phone. On the second day of her being gone, I could tell in her voice that something wasn't right; she sounded high, just like she did when she was addicted to Oxy's. The whole time, she denied it and we just kept on arguing. We even went 2 days without talking to each other. When I picked her up from the airport, it was an instant battle. She looked absolutely wasted and wasn't even able to keep her balance. She kept trying to convince me that it was from her not getting much sleep before she left. That's when I found out that her first boyfriend, Richard, a guy who is 5 years older than her, who had sex with her while she was 14, had used her dads truck to take her to the airport. I was pissed that she didn't tell me about it and she had the audacity to start treating me like shit for saying something! We argued all the way back home and once we were there it wasn't long and she was passed out on the couch. A week later we celebrated Thanksgiving together, just the 2 of us. It was kinda romantic; we had quail and sweet potatoes, she's a pretty awesome cook. Then, that weekend, Cindy called and asked us to come to her birthday party at a local bar. I was harboring a lot of resentment towards Cindy and Lisa being together and knew in my heart that they'd sneak doing drugs if I went, so I opted to stay home. Lisa and I fought about her using the truck, which was our only vehicle, because I know that Lisa doesn't have any self-control when she's partying with her friends. Our neighbor, Jackie, volunteered to drive and the 2 girls started getting ready to go. Before they left, I made sure Lisa knew that she had my complete trust; after all, her complaint in regard to using the truck was that I didn't trust her. She was right, but so was I! Jackie and Lisa were gone for a few hours and when they came back, Lisa was trashed but she and Jackie both said that they only had 2 drinks! I knew instantly that Lisa had gotten high with Cindy at the bar. Jackie went home and Lisa passed out on the couch. after a while, I carried her into bed and went to sleep myself. The next morning, all my accusations and comments became truth! Right on the living room floor, there was a 30 milligram Oxycontin. I instantly grabbed it and went into the bedroom and woke her up! I was furious! She instantly denied knowing how it got into the house; she even tried to tell me that it must have been stuck to the bottom of her shoe! What was this girl thinking? Within an hour, she was sobbing like a child and gave me her version of the truth; she claimed to have found 2 pills in the bathroom, in a cellophane wrapper and she took one of them. I was left with the decision to kick her out, for more than just 1 reason mind you, or try to love her and show her the love by finding a way to work through this problem. I went into our bedroom while she sat on the couch, and the only conclusion I could come up with was, either kick her out and she goes back to Utah and gets high, or let her get high in my presence. What a fool I was again! I told her that since she wanted to throw her life away, then so was I with mine. And since she got to do her drugs, then I was going to start doing mine again! I was a crack-cocaine addict for over 10 years, but had been clean for almost a year at this point. She tried to tell me that she didn't want me to do drugs and to just let her go back to Utah. But I loved her too much for that. So, long story short, we started buying or drugs together and getting high. This behavior lasted for 3 days. It was then that I realized that she was going back to Utah every couple months to get her prescriptions filled and having her dad sell them for her and then putting the money into an account for her! I figured this out when she came back in August and had a new bank card; she tried saying it was linked to her dads account, but I knew better. Over the 3 days, she called her dad and he gave her over $700.00. We spent every penny on crack and Oxy's. She was even buying the pills from Cindy! Lisa was using my phone to make all the calls to Cindy because Lisa and I had gotten into an argument after she got back from Utah and I took her phone from her so she couldn't buy any drugs and I threw it out. I was wrong for that, but I thought I was protecting the one I loved from destroying herself. After 3 days of both of us smoking crack and her snorting her pills too, I decided to try an Oxy, so I could try to understand why she couldn't live without them. Best and worst mistake of my life! Within 30 min of snorting a pill with her, I was in the bathroom retching my guts out! I went into the bedroom and passed out. She didn't even come in to check on me; she's always been a selfish addict and never really cared about anything but getting high. It was upon waking the next morning that I realized that she could have cared less if I had died in my sleep! I woke her up and told her that the drugs were done! Never again! She instantly protested,"its o.k. when you want to get high, but when you're done everybody has to be?" Upon hearing my say, "Yup!", she started to pack her stuff to go back to Utah. We fought for almost 12 hours that day and she took off finally. I tracked her down and gave her a ride to a motel down by where Cindy was staying. I knew she was going to call Cindy anyway so I figured why not put her close her. I spent 2 days going absolutely crazy trying to figure out why it had to get like this. My conclusion was because I let it get like this! I knew from the moment Lisa told me about her conditions to coming back, that she was still getting prescribed her pills. I knew, and despite knowing in my heart that this would eventually happen, I loved her so much that I couldn't be without her! I was, and am, a fool for love! Lisa finally left me a voice mail the night before she left. I called the number and the kid at the front desk said she was there. He relayed a message to her and she called me. We talked for a while and she finally agreed to let me come see her. It was a painful visit, probably the most painful I've ever experienced in my life! I was with the woman I was supposed to be marrying and she was leaving me for drugs! We spent the night talking and making love. In my opinion, she was high the whole time, even though she swears she wasn't. The next day, we went back to the house and I helped her pack all of her stuff for her trip back to Utah. I dropped her off at the airport and we shared the most passionate kiss we'd ever had! Funny, the best was only revealed at the very end! She got on the plane and within hours I was on my way to Ohio with all of our property I could fit into our little Ford Ranger. She didn't call me for 2 days. That was when I started calling her friends from Utah. Her girlfriend Julie actually talked to me for almost 2 hours. She told me that Lisa and Richard had hooked up and that Lisa was always getting her prescriptions, that's why she had to keep coming back. Then, towards the end of the conversation, Julie, an Oxy addict as well, got mean and hateful, and we exchanged bitter words and the call ended. Lisa called me the next night but we didn't talk long, because I accused her of being unloving, an addict, and a liar; after all, that's what she is, every addict is, I was once the same as well! After that, we didn't talk for almost 2 months; she didn't have a phone and wasn't calling me. I spent until the first week in January in Ohio and then headed back to Florida. I was able to stay with some friends when I got back. I got myself a job and started doing o.k. again. Then, one night, I decided to call her phone number; she answered. We talked for a while and she tried to say that Julie was lying and that she herself was doing great. She confirmed the whole Richard thing and that led to a few harsh words, but she admitted that everything was her fault this time. She even confided in me with the fact that she got back on Oxycontin's and had even shot drugs into her veins with a needle! I tried to be as comforting s possible, even though I had finally realized that I'd probably never see Lisa alive again! For a couple of weeks, we actually started to regain the friendship we once had; it felt good. Then Richard and she started having problems and he moved out of the house where she and her dad stayed. She and I even started having talks of trying to work things out! We both agreed that it was going to take some time and that we both still loved each other more than anything. Then, within a week of all this positiveness, she had to go to Salt Lake City for Julie's birthday. Lisa became very distant and cold the day she was leaving for S.L.C. She didn't want to even text me. Later the next night, I discovered that she and some friends had gone up on Thursday so that she could get her prescription filled and sell them. I also found out from her girlfriend Heather, who went with her, that Lisa was shooting up heroin. Lisa and I had a huge fight that lasted for less than 10 minutes over the phone. I haven't heard from her since; it's been almost 2 weeks now and today is March 30, 2010. Heather had called a few times to let me know the truth about everything and the truth was, that Lisa was always getting her prescriptions, has always been having her dad Brain sell them for her when she's out of town, she is shooting up, and that she's even sleeping with a married man! Now you're probably thinking," this guy is a dumb-ass for putting up with all this shit!", and you're right, I am a fool! However, there's some positive out of all of this; for me anyway! I've let Lisa go, have been working on my education, and have even been working steady and have found a place to rent! I'm going to CHURCH regularly and have even been asked to preach! You see, throughout all of these events, I've always held onto my FAITH in GOD! HE has given me the strength to overcome all of this crap, where as most would fall into such a deep depression that some have tried to commit suicide. But GOD has helped me every step of the way! So, if you van relate to my story, or have been through something even more painful, just remember, GOD is FAITHFUL to those who are FAITHFUL to HIM! May HE bless you in whatever you may be going through!

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