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December 11, 2008 was when we first hooked up/beginning of our relationship. We go to a boarding school in central PA, he was the funny guy everyone knew, a major legacy at the school and one of the best looking guys there. I was a new incoming sophomore, never had a boyfriend, had done some sexual things with this one guy but nothing big, and never thought i could open up to anyone due to a rocky childhood. At our school the lunch table assignments change every 2 weeks, and that tuesday afternoon I saw that he was at my table! I always got butterflies when I saw him so this made my day, and my 2 weeks. We sat next to eachother everyday and hes the biggest flirt ever and has the best smile and teh biggest blue green eyes. I knew that he had a serious relationship already with this bitch who broke his heart so a lot of people told me he just likes to hook up and nothing serious, that was fine for me at the moment, even just him knowing my name was fine. We talked over thanksgiving break and then the week before Christmas break was when it began. I was so happy, i remember he gave me his soccer jacket to wear one night and I took it home with me over break and it smelt just like him. Now im not the kind of person that spills their life story to someone they barley know and i tended to seem stand offish about that I guess. we'd be together all teh time and sometimes Id go home with some of my friends on the weekends, which i later learned he hated. eventually i warmed up to him, i let him in, he was the one i wanted to be with all the time, my number one thought in my head. i started to think i loved him over spring break, marchish time. i hated when people said they were in love in highschool, well i guess my beliefs changed. we took eachothers virginity, he was the first person i ever said i love you too. i cried the second school was out for the summer, and realized i wont see him for 3 months, that lasted 2 weeks. everynight he was the last person i talked to. i constantly had my phone to make sure i wouldnt miss his call. i was in love. head over heels, puppy dog, grow old with me love. we decided we were going to have 2 kids, colton and sawyer, grow old in up state ny, and live happily ever after. we were so commited, he was all i wanted and i was all he wanted. then school started adn we started to fight, we were jealous mostly and thats what began to ruin us. we had so many good times, yet so many fights. i began to get sick of it, not realizing how much i loved him and eventually he gave up. it was a friday, i was basically grounded at school on a friday night so we coudlnt hang out. we got in a fight about something stupid and i was fed up about it. i told him we needed time, biggest mistake ever. usually id quickly take it back and we;d be fine, but he agreed. he agreed! i literally felt my heart break and shatter. its been horrible ever since, just getting worse and worse each day. i told him i wouldnt give up, and i havnt. but he constantly tells me how horrible i am but then comes running back to tell me he loves me. he does this thing where wed be hanging out aand having a great time like the old times and he'll realize what hes doing and flip being like "we cant do this, we cant talk" he tells me over and over again he doesnt want me but then he still says he loves me. i need to end this, but i cant! i dont want to live without him, hes everything. im happy that im with him even when we;re fighting cause i just love him being around. im crazy! i know it can get better, but hes given up. he says everything he can to hurt me and it does. ive never cried this much in my life. hes become an asshole and i hate that, but i want the old him back, i know hes still in there. and i just need to figure out what to do. should i let him go? see him be happy without me? cause i know that he can easily move on. im not the girl who puts herself out there, hes the guy who has all the girls begging to hook up with him. im hopeless.

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