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So it's been 2 months since all this crap started. Everything I say, makes it even worse and he's acting like it's all my fault. He says, apparently, I freaked him but he won't tell my why or what's wrong. I have done everything. I have given every piece of my heart and soul to him. I FORGAVE HIM FOR EVERYTHING. Even when he treated me like complete and utter shit. I never question anything or the way he felt about me. I believed everything. I always just let everything go. Sure, I might have said something out of line but this is complete bull. He's acting like he's the hurt one when all I ever tried to do is be his friend in the first place. I know he's 2 faced. He can be they biggest ass hole in the entire world or this guy with this big beating, sweet heart. I know it's not all me. I know somewhere I might have crossed the line but for real he's scared. I know that he's afraid that he can't pass a class without cheating. I know he's scared that he won't get into college. I know he's scared to loose his best friends (the best friends he's ever had).I know he's afraid to be left behind, of failing, of not being good enough, of being rejected. He's terrified of the future and he won't admit it. He's dependent on me so by cutting me out of his life, he's some how making things better for himself but HE'S NOT! What's wrong with him?! Why can't he realize that I'm going to be there good or bad?! I did it today. I gave him one final goodbye for awhile. Until he gets his shit together. I'll take him back any day he's ready but he has to work thru his issues. It's so hard. I keep trying to remember, it's not over. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end. That deep down we're really still friends and always will be. Time heals everything. True love begins but never really ends. Sometimes people have to go there separate ways to end up together. I know that. I know we're right for each other, just not right now. I know it will be ok one day but I can't wait for that day. It's killing me, it hurts so bad. I'm miserable, I've lost my best friend.

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