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I am 29 years old, I was in the military when I met my wife , I have always dreamed of having a wife and a family, in my whole life that was my only goal, to have true love, unseparated forever through good times and bad times till death do us apart. I love being pure for me and for god by having a sacred unbreakable bond forever.I needed someone to go through all phases of life with me. I loved her so much and she was what I lived for and my sunshine in my universe. I had to deploy overseas and it was emotionaly hard on both of us so I decided that I will leave the military and got medicaly discharged and quit my job to be with my wife.
all my skills as an arabic interpreter couldn't be used except in Iraq or in another state like VA. I live in washington state, so I decided to go to school and sacrifice my career that was going to bring me good money, just to be with my lovely wife. I needed her like I need the air, considered her my soul mate and she was good to me and she told me she loved me.
I am a man and all men make mistakes, there are two types of men one that think about cheating or sometime fantasize about other women, and the other kind of men who break hearts and actually do the act and empty of emotions and not faithful.
The men are naturaly born like that, with certain uncontrolable hormones that cannot be changed.
I never cheated on her and our sex ife has been going bad because she was aggressive with me and head butt alot which turned me off.
I was still commited and would have never let go of our relation that easy and she was complaining aot about our sex life. I though that if I asked for a threesome with another girl that it would spice up our sex life and our relation, and I had this fantasy with her and I was honest and asked her and told her that it will strenghten our relation and make her more secure with me and to assure her that I would never cheat or leave her for another woman and If I ever done anything with another woman it would be for oursake with her and for her and my fantasy was in my wife not for anyother woman, I was emotionaly attached to her only, and wanted it to last forever. I thought I would be more sexy and desirable for her and she would be for me. she wasn't fine with that and I told her if it will make her upset then no I wouldn't ask for that any more. I pushed her again thinking that this was the only way to make it better for us and pretended that I want that or a divorce and that was the end of her love to me. I was only bluffing about the divorce because I would have never acted on it, again I am the type of men who are bluffers and may be think about the sin but never does it. and to me divorce is a sin too. we stayed together for 2 more months trying to work it out but she never forgot and forgave, I learned my lesson not to bluff again and never mentioned divorce again even when she tried so hard to push my buttons. and here it is she asked for it and she meant it she wants a divorce for real. to me that is the end of my life, I really loved her aot and would have never compromised our relation by doing something stupid nor would have cheated. she was the air I breath and my whole life, I have promised my self for her forever and during our marriage I didn't even have any femae friends to make her happy as she asked. I would have always loved her, protected her and cared for her forever.
The true love should never end and I never stopped loving her, how can she stop loving me anymore? It's something that I can never turn off. I always believed in hope to work it out and I would never walk out on my spouse in a million years. I wish I wasn't loyal and soft hearted. people here are so cold and can be emotionaly num, I am very romantic but I never showed her that alot because I was afraid that she will walkout on me one day or hurt my hurt that is fragile. I have always had to put a mask that I am a tough macho man because I didn't want to get hurt and played with. I fell in love with her even though she broke many hearts before me. even x-husbands that she had kids with that never beated her or anything. to me that was a red flag because it is something I would never do if I had kids with anyone, It's a matter of principle with me because I believe people should work it out no matter what and especialy if kids where involved. I believe in an ideal ultimate romance, peace, commitment and never ending love. I never promise what I can't keep.
She doesn't want me any more and I am so hurt like I never got hurt before. we have been together for more than 3 years and she was my only social network and I came to depend on her badly and I liked it and felt comfortable by time untill I became so volnurable and then she broke my heart, I cried alot because I lost everthing, the never ending love that I dreamed of.I can never get over it!

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