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Seven years. That's how long we had been together. Seven years. That's how long it took to lose something that meant the whole of my life; and I still don't know why!
Three weeks ago we said goodbye on the station platform: Not a permanent goodbye but the goodbye when you kiss, hug, and say I'll see you soon. We hugged and kissed as she got on the train to visit her brother and his girlfriend and her new nephew. She said "I love you, see you soon, take care."

I felt lonely for the five days she was away, I missed her terribly but new I could cope for such a short while. Sleeping was hard but she would be back soon to hug and snuggle.
The day she was due back was hectic: My day off of work was spent tidying our accommodation, getting the things in I knew she would like to eat. The flowers I arranged in the new vase I bought to welcome her back. We work and live on a holiday complex so we have company accommodation, not big, but nice and cosy and I wanted to make it extra nice for her return.

I waited for her as she said not to meet her because she would be bringing too much to carry on our motorbike so she would get a taxi home. 9.30pm, she hadn't arrived, she was late. I called, she said not to worry and would be back in the morning.

I woke up the next morning and she wasn't there. I got ready for work and went to reception where she works as a receptionist. She was at work. I asked what had happened and she told me that she had spent the night in one of the chalets as she didn't want to disturb me.

She never came back to me after that. She told me that evening that she was moving out. We can still be friends she said. She wants to be young again. There was no one else. Totally out of the blue I went from being happy to being devastated and heartbroken.

Seven years of being together, she told me she loved me, five days of seperation, she told me she was leaving. Two weeks of crying and heartbreak.

I see her everyday; she talks as though we have always been work colleagues. Nothing more nothing less.

I hurt, I cry, I would do anything in the world to have her back, I've lost her, out of the blue, and I don't know why, I think I won't make it........



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