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i had this boyfriend we had known each other for about a year and we went out once about a week after i met him but i ended it cuz i din't really feel anything for him or was attracted to him but then after a year of talking and getting to really know each other and becoming really close i started to really fall for him and as a bonus he still liked me from before so one day we went to the cinema and while the beginning credits rolled there was this really sweet music and he turned my head to look in his eyes and as i did he leant forward and kissed me and then whispered i love you to me and i replied as of course i would i love you too.
it was 6 months and a couple of weeks of bliss and happiness it even got so far that he......deflowered me shall we say 5 months in. Then about a couple of days before we broke up i started to feel like he didn't love me anymore i knew i was being stupid but for some reason i felt like that possibly because maybe i was making it up but the way he spoke to me over the internet and text messages had changed i reli thought he had changed a bit. then one night i called him up and asked him to tell me that he loved me cuz yet again i was feeling a bit lonely and worried i couldn;t helped it cuz i loved him so much......i wish i never did that because then he began saying we had bin having alot of problems and that this was happening and we both werent happy no matter how much i begged and pleaded that it was juat me he wasnt having any of it then he had to go for a minute so i waited for a call back which would make or break me.............and as you can guess it broke me because that was when he told me that his feelings had changed and he no longer loved me as a lover but more as a friend.
after all we went through after everything we said to each other everything we have done he said he'd love me forever no matter what no matter what obviously that was a lie he said he would never lose me to anyone and he didn't want anyone but me all of it everything he said was a lie and i was so stupid to believe him he was the best i ever had and then he goes and does this to me i really thought he could never hurt me like this.............yet again i was wrong
i still want him and i still love him so much i just want him back and i have this stupid hope that he will come back to me but he likes this other girl and i know he will never love me again i can't stand all this hurt this pain this suffering i gave all of myself to him body heart and soul and he just threw it back at me i can't understand how he could love me so much then lose it....i want to forget everything i don't want any of the memories i want them all to fade away along with his face in my mind it hurts everyday when i have to see him at college flirting with all these girls and her..........i hate it i hate it all i just want it to end i don't want my heart cuz all it gets me is hurt i'm such an idiot when i think im happy it gets dashed i can never stay happy the world just does not want me to be happy i'm sick of it all and i don't ever want to love again and no-one is ever getting close to me ever again never again.

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