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I still cant believe this is happening to me...I have been with my first and only boyfriend for 4 years since I was 17. We have been through everything together, including the death of nan, both our parents getting divorced, me becoming pretty ill, money problems and my dad becoming terminally ill. We had a great relationship and we were so in love, we regularly talked about marriage, he said I was perfect and would always love (hes still saying that actually) We broke up briefly over a year ago, and during this time, he slept with a girl a few times, which was bad enough for me to deal with as I didnt want the split to begin with. But we got back together after a few months and, although this girl tried to break us up, we were doing good....or so I thought. A few months ago, he became quite distant and said he couldnt deal with my problems, even though Id always supported him, but I loved him so much I kept trying my best, lending him money and everything. We were still happy though but it got worse and about a month ago, he broke up with me, saying he was too ashamed of his behaviour and how badly he had treated me and I deserved better. I thought there was more to it, but he insisted there wasnt and I believed him. I saw him earler this week and he was hugging me, saying he loved me and missed me and it was nice. But today he emailed me saying he had been lying to me for months. He had cheated on me a few times with the girl he went with previously, telling me he was at work. So I was sat here feeling sorry for him that he was working so hard when he was off with her. That is bad enough, but it also turns out, she is pregnant and is refusing to get of it, even though hes not interested. I know Ill never be able to forgive him, but I cant believe he did this to me, when even now he is saying I never did anything wrong and he loves me and he will never forgive himself. But he couldnt have done this to me if he loved me, right? Im glad I found this place, its good to vent. Nola, UK

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