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We have been married over 7 years, He was the most loving, sharing, caring, sincere and devoted man I have ever known. I was a total negative, hurting, insensitive and mentally unstable person. At least thats how I feel I have treated him know that he's gone. I took advantage of his loving way, Dont get me wrong he is stubborn and a bit hard headed. But he never yelled at me, beat me, belittled me, never said anything unsensitive and made me feel insecure in any way and never went out on me. But thats what I was to him and he took it for 7 years. I exploded 2 weeks ago at him for no reason at all and for years I have always threatened to throw him out, he used to say the only way he would leave is if I packed his stuff and threw it out. I guess I tried to call his bluff and did just that. He left and I was the one in regret. See I have a problem with anger and I totally pushed him away and tore him down because of it. Now hes living in a bachlors apt. and says he is not going to take off his wedding ring nor is he comming home until I get some help for my problem. I have been dying inside and so misrable and realize that he may not wait for long. I am sitting alone in this house and cant feel whole until he comes back. I have started working with my issue and started seeing someone to help me thru these issues. But I still feel like Iam dying inside and cant stop regretting what happened. Iam so afraid that hell just give up on me and realize he is better off without me. I am going to stay positive and hope for the best but its so hard to deal with this on my own. He refuses to come back for fear that everything will resume to the way it was again. I know and feel in my heart this will take a bit longer to reach him again then I thought it would. I am trying to stay positive and become the positive person he meet when we were younger. But if I loose him I know in my heart that he was the best man I ever meet and will never again treat anyone so badly again. I will live with this regret for the rest of my life. So, I am starting to heal myself and become a more happy, loving, and positive person not just for him because I know have realized that I have to do it for myself first. He said he will wait for me, but I cant base my getting better on getting him back. I have to do this for myself. It feels as though I am dying inside and cant find one thing in this big house that does not remind me of him.

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