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I met him when I had finished high school and started at College, he was this quirky, cute guy that lived next door (we had just moved). It all started out when he started inviting me to play squash with him and his friends, a year later he was fetching me from work, two years later we were planning a wedding and even thinkign of names for our future children. Our parents however had different ideas, my parentsbeing very catholic and his parents being irish protestant. Our moms never got on, although i think our dad's did not want to become involved. his mom was forever telling him stories and inviting girls around to their house for dinner and coffee etc. Finally one sad day I arrived home early (still living with my parents) and there he was standing in his drive with another woman, I knew then and there that there was somethign wrong. I still console myself with the fact that he was honest with me (or was he?). For the past two years I have been trying to go my own way, but he keeps looking me up and there has been the odd occassion in weakness that we have slept together. At the end of lastyear I decided it was enough and I was moving to the UK to live with my dad and stay there. It is almost three years and I am still wracked with feelings of hurt, I dont trust anyone and I know that this is wrong as there are probably plenty of good guys out there, I just wish he had died or maybe I had, it would make allthe pain go away. i cannot sleep, I think about him everyday and sometimes I lie to myself and say that maybe it was all a bad dream.

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