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Everyone has at least one of these summers in their lifetime. I had finally had mine. I was turning 21 and at peak condition. My school life, work life, and social life seemed to be blooming before my very eyes. Living on my own finally and loving it! I hadn't been in a real relationship for a while but I felt solid without it. The ladies were all around but I just didn't want anyone that much in particular.

Biking to and from school every other day had been my regimen for a long time and it made me feel great! Then it happened one day as I pedaled back to my apartment.

It was a beautiful sunny day in late June. I had made arrangements with a friend to head to the beach after my workout. I was almost home and ready for a shower when I looked up and saw her. Beautiful and shining in her bright yellow shirt walking to the local convenience store. She had this glow about her that felt like it matched the one I had from just working out. Our eyes met and all I could muster was "Hey". She reciprocated with a beautiful smile and I biked along. I know I had seen her before and that she lived in my apartment building, but I had to take this chance to talk to her before the spark went stale.

I pedaled back and asked her to come to the beach with me. She was excited and said she'll go. I set a time and went home to get ready. Long story short, I stood her up on account of my friend taking forever and I felt horrible about it.

I phoned her a couple days later apologetically and asked if she'd come out swimming with me. She actually wanted to without issue. Amazing, I thought. So I came out to the pool and there she was, glistening and beautiful in her bathing suit. We swam together and really enjoyed each other's company. She did this thing where i'd be swimming with my stomach down and she'd swim beneath me with her stomach up, like a mermaid.

Since then I called her my mermaid and we spent almost every moment of free time together all summer. We went places and did all these simple things that were so amazing for the both of us. The big thing to me was despite all the joy she gave me, she still wanted to pay for everything. She even paid for me to get into the club with her on her birthday. Despite a lot of my shortcomings, she showered me with so much love and affection, I felt like I had finally found the one who understood me and wanted to really be something together.

I fell in love with her and she told me she loved me as well. I believed it.

Then came the day when she needed to start rehearsing every day in another town for a five month cruise ship gig she has to do for money.

At first I was completely supportive because I wanted her to pursue her passion, but then the anxiety of distance started getting to me.

I began imagining her doing things behing my back because of the distance her rehearsals were from home, and her own anxiety of leaving behind those she loves. I even thought I had substantial reason to assume such things.

Our anxieties began to clash and at times I couldn't take the anguish of being away from her. She started spending more and more time away because she said I was always negative anyways.

For a couple weeks I couldn't register that she was pretty much going through a grueling boot camp-like training regimen for dance every day and the congested drive home after all that would be taxing for anybody, yet she still tried to accomodate me. I was just focusing on how much it was hurting me that with the limited time left before she set sail, she had less and less time to spend with me.

Finally I realized it and told her everything I came to understand, and that I was sorry for being such a sadbag, and that I'm still here for her, and everything else. She told me she was happy I understood and made me feel like everything would be ok again.

But now she doesn't even answer her phone or even want to be around me. I see her car in the garage and ask if we can just hang out. But she doesn't even want to let me sit with her and watch her fold her clothes.

I haven't stopped caring for her in any amount, and I still show her this, as well as my unwavering support.

She hasn't left yet, but I feel like she's already long gone. That the sea has already reclaimed my murmaid never again to return.

My hours are slumberless and she haunts my every waking milisecond. I just can't let her go.

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