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When I met Michael, the whole world stopped and stood still for the both of us. We saw each other from across the room in a bar at 2am. We both approached each other and stood silently staring into each others eyes for at least a minute before he broke the gaze and spoke. We left hand in hand right then and there. We both enjoyed each other and had an active relationship, Cruise, Swimming, Snorkeling, Restaurants, and an African Safari etc. I got to the point where he is all I think about, night and day, when I'm asleep he's in my dreams. I became the most romantic and patient person on Earth and went out of my way to do the little things like long stemmed roses, box of chocolates on his pillow, just lots of little surprises. He wore my ring and I wore his Tiffany Heart, I still do. We got back from Africa a month ago and he came out of the blue with struggling mentally over his last relationship, which lasted 12 years. He told me that he loves me but is not ready for another relationship and needs to be alone. It was that moment that my world shattered into a million pieces. I can’t eat, sleep or think. My heart is lost and my mind is confused. I burst into tears on public transport.

Dearest Michael

I have to tell you....... I miss you so much. I miss you so much that it burns and consumes me. I feel like there is a void inside of me. I keep noticing other people and feeling a moment of infatuation but it stems from my enormous love for you, and means nothing. I wish I could feel the touch of your skin against mine, the feel of your Lips against mine, to hold you in my arms. I think of you all the time and keep finding myself dissolving into tears, shedding them like fragments of my heart, in bed, at work, on the train. I keep seeing you in my travels around the city, in the faces and the bodies of strangers. I find myself in a fleeting moment of happiness and without even realizing, wishing I was sharing it with you, and sinking back in to my endless dream of you. I am your man and don’t believe I will ever be able to change that. I will always be your man. I love you with every cell of my physical existence and with all the energy of my soul, breath and emotion. I have given myself to you, and desire nothing but that; nothing but to be your man. My hurt stabs and burns like being torn apart by white hot pokers bursting out of my chest. Seeing you, an instant relief and the waves calm, the sun breaks through and I see your smile, your eyes, your soul. Then… you leave me all over again. I miss you so much. I am in love with you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I wait for the day I can hold you again. I will wait for the next life if it takes that long. I believe I have done that for you before. I love you my Michael.

With all of my love, life and existence,
Forever yours Keiron
xxxx

So I wait.


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